


This is where we end

by AngelEyes (arcticdorks)



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, please let me have this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 04:44:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15901143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcticdorks/pseuds/AngelEyes
Summary: Before he drifts to sleep Eiji softly whispers, “In another lifetime, see me and I’ll know it’s you and I’ll love you over and over again.”





	This is where we end

**Author's Note:**

> contains spoilers from the manga which I recently finished and I don't know who I am anymore but at least I know what the heck TRUE LOVE IS.

Even in years old photographs, Ash is always devastatingly beautiful. For a moment Eiji wanted to boast that he knew who this man is, how he really knew him layers upon layers. He had not seen his face for years, Eiji can’t bring it to himself, not yet. 

 

Not until tonight when he finally open the box containing Ash’s photographs that he took personally. 

 

Sing’s words hang in his head, “Let him go.” 

 

It’s easier said than done, how can he? How can he let this person go, how can he forget about him? 

 

Eiji frowns as he collects the photographs and places them inside the box.

 

Ash is simply the best thing that happened to him. He was only nineteen then, hell he was only nineteen when he felt the greatest feeling a person could ever have. It was a short time, everything happened in a blink of an eye. Sometimes Eiji thinks that nothing happened, that he didn’t met a seventeen year old boy with a brilliant mind. He didn’t met a seventeen year old boy with a blonde hair and green eyes. He sometimes think that Ash never happened, that no seventeen year old boy turned his whole world upside down. But everytime this thoughts come Eiji’s vision is always clouded with tears, his heart sinks and he feels nothing. 

 

 

That night Eiji’s silent prayer was answered. 

 

They met in a bar, Ash is sitting across the small table sipping delicately on his drink. His eyes were trained on Eiji’s and there’s a small smile on his face beautiful face. Eiji can tell that there’s something different in Ash, in his dream Ash is gilded. As he should be when he was still with him, breathing and solid. 

 

There are a thousand things Eiji wants to tell Ash, how sorry he is. How he shouldn’t left him no matter the chaos. How he should have stayed to see the very end- a life with Ash. But the train of thought stopped when Ash lifted his hand, as if to halt Eiji’s words that didn’t spill out of his mouth but Ash heard anyway. 

 

Ash’s hands moved to cup Eiji’s own hand laying on top of the table. And it that moment Eiji can feel his presence, he can feel the warmth Ash resonates. God, he misses him.

 

He misses his smile like knives, he misses how he would brush his hair away from his face, he misses how Ash’s touches are so soft against his skin and how Ash would lean whenever he reaches for Eiji to kiss him. 

 

Ash smiles at him and before Eiji can say anything, he’s gone.

 

They met in a bar in Eiji’s dream and after all this years, it’s still him. 

 

Eiji wakes up with hot tears streaming down his face soaking his pillowcases, he turns to his side letting the tears to flow freely and outside his window the dawn is breaking. 

 

He gathers all the courage he could muster and came face to face with a place he thought he would never have to see again. He stands before the New York Public library, Ash spent his remaining hours here bleeding to death. 

 

He stands there for a couple more minutes, turns his back and walks away. 

 

 

Eiji wishes he could meet Ash in another circumstances, wishes things weren’t so rouge so they could love each other freely. No burdens and sufferings, just two teenagers living life in its fullest. 

 

But if he would be given a chance to redo the past he would still accept Ibe-san’s offer to fly with him to New York, he will still agree to work with him. He will still ask a gang leader to hold his gun, he would still see the end of it all with Ash Lynx. 

 

Realization hits Eiji softly, if it wasn’t for Ash he would not know the peak of human strength. He would not know how to love unconditionally. He would not know how life can be so cruel. 

 

Eiji falls inlove with Ash in that battered hide-out, Eiji falls inlove with Ash sitting in that window sill that overlooks a part of the city.

 

Eiji falls inlove with Ash, with all his scars and pain. 

 

Eiji falls inlove with Ash protecting him.

 

Eiji falls inlove with Ash who is not afraid of death but is afraid to be lose him. 

 

Eiji falls inlove with Ash, who is like the lightning and at the same time the clap of thunder. 

 

Before he drifts to sleep Eiji softly whispers, “In another lifetime, see me and I’ll know it’s you and I’ll love you over and over again.” 

 

 

Eiji is eighty-three and he sees Aslan again on a Sunday, standing on his open doorway while he lay on his bed.

 

He’s wearing a white shirt and blue jeans, he hadn’t age a day the last time he saw him. 

 

Just like the Ash he saw in his dream, he is gilded, shining brightly.

 

Eiji is fragile and old in his Greenwich Village home and this moment he knows it’s his time. He would not ask for more, his best friend and his greatest love is standing before him with a smile on his face. 

 

 

Ash is waiting for him.

 

“Finally, you’re here.” Eiji manage to speak. He blinks away a few tears.

 

Ash sits beside Eiji and says nothing for a long time, just looks at Eiji with longing in his eyes. He looks Eiji in the eyes as if making amends for the time he wasn’t with him. He looks at him with familiar memories.

 

“Let’s go, Ei-chan.” His voice sounded the same, Eiji registers if more so it sounded a bit playful. 

 

Ash stood from where he was seated beside Eiji and he lends his hand. 

 

Eiji with his ragged breathing and trembling fingers- he reaches for Ash’s hand. 

 

_He holds him, he holds him, and he holds him. ___

__

__And when Ash gives Eiji’s hand a little tug, Eiji is nineteen all over again walking out of his bedroom door hand in hand with the man who completed his world in the beginning and the end. Ash is his beginning and his end._ _

__

__Everything is white and bright outside his door and Eiji is not afraid because Ash is with him. Finally Ash is with him._ _

__

__They walk and they walk until they reach _the very end. _____

____ _ _

____The dawn came and left with Eiji._ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry just let me have this, I cried so much reading Garden of Life my doctor said I'm dehydrated. I fucking love Banana fish it is unreal. I love Ash and Eiji's story and until now I cannot put it into words maybe someday I'll do better than this. <3


End file.
